Choose Your Own Adventure! :D

[capler]

Okay, I'm trying a "choose-your-own-adventure" style fic here, set in sort of fantasy medieval times. You know, swords, knights and mages sort of stuff. Cast your vote- majority wins! :3

HOLY CRAP ON A CRACKER!!

A Choose Your Own Adventure Fic

You wake up and are greeted by the crisp midday sun peering down on you from the clear blue sky. You don’t know who you are, let alone where you are or how you got there. You clumsily climb to your feet. The world is a spinning, blurry mess full of fuzzy outlines and nauseating colors, but you somehow manage to keep your balance. You look at your hands to find that they’re covered in blood; whether it’s yours or not is a question your addled mind can’t quite grasp at the moment.

As you stumble forward in a completely random direction, your vision clears slightly and you become aware of a sharp pain in your side. As luck would have it, you see two people walking towards you, and you call out for help. They rush towards you and start asking you multiple questions in quick succession. You can’t quite make out what they’re saying, and they seem to be arguing with each other more than they’re talking to you. From what you can glean from the conversation, you’re seriously injured. One man, wearing green, thinks you should go to the healer in the city since they have the most advanced medical equipment available. The other man, wearing blue, thinks he could heal you better than that quack bastard in the city by using time-tested herbal remedies.

You’re tired, thirsty, dizzy and in pain, yet they seem unable to come to a decision and look to you for the final word. Where would you rather get healed?

[Mr. Benton]

I would go with the green man from the city! ^_^

[Khaoseru]

Let's take a risk.
FOLLOW TEH BLUE MAN.

[kawasake]

Hmm....I'LL GO BLUE! >:-D

[capler]

Sorry Masty! XD

You desperately lurch towards the man in the man in the blue shirt while gurgling a random string of words. The man grabs you by the shoulders and studies your eyes carefully.

"Hmm...looks like you've been poisoned." He slings one of your arms over his shoulders and grabs your waist so he's able to drag you along. "Come on. My place isn't too far from here."

Unfortunately, in your incredibly weakened state, you pass out. Not entirely surprising. When you come to, you find yourself in a small hut stuffed full of strange plants, both dried and living. It smells like you shoved your face into a fragrant stack of hay. And, oddly enough, there is a chicken sitting on your stomach, clucking softly to itself. You're laying on a short bed made of hay (which might explain the smell), and the man in blue is sitting at a small wooden table, sipping a cup of tea. He looks over at you when you start to sit up.

"Good thing you managed to run into me on the road. Another half hour and you would have been beyond saving."

You poke at your bandaged wound, amazed that it no longer hurts. In fact, you feel much better. You give the man your heartfelt thanks. He just smiles.

"I managed to come across some belongings I believe are yours. Good thing you didn't ask my cousin for help. He would have taken everything for himself." He motions towards a small pile of general stuff sitting beside the bed. There's a heavy wool cloak, a tinder box and flint, a small satchel with twenty-seven gold in it, a small dagger, and what looks to be a broken pendant of some sort. Beside this is a sword that has been shattered into two pieces, and a cracked bow with its strings cut. The man continues. "You know, I can pull in a favor and get one of those weapons fixed for you. It's a shame about the sword...it was very nice. It'd still be usable after getting fixed, but its blade will never be as sharp or strong as it was. The bow would be easier to fix, but once again it would end up being much lower quality than it was originally."

Would you rather have your sword fixed, or your bow?

[Mr. Benton]

Sword fixed!

[kawasake]

Yay plants!
Um...I rather like bows...but I guess the sword would be more useful.

[Rinikex]

I choose the sword, because it doesn't sound like there are any arrows for the bow.

[capler]

I was going to give you a few arrows, but for some reason I couldn't remember the phrase 'quiver of arrows', so I didn't. So let's just say that 1)You had arrows, but they were broken, and 2) arrows are inexpensive and easy to find.

[Khaoseru]

I say fix the sword.

there is a chicken sitting on your stomach

Oh yeah, let's eat teh chiken too. Healing is good, but there is teh hunger.

[kawasake]

Oh, I forgot about this!
>.> <.< >.>

I guess I wasn't the only one... :3

[capler]

Yeah, I forgot about it too... XD Oh wait, I forgot about it too. ; Anyway, let us continue along with this thing, wherever it might be taking us! : D Because I certainly haven't planned that far ahead... o3o

But you didn't need to know that! : D Anyway, on with the story-type thing!


You politely ask the man if he wouldn't mind getting the sword fixed. I mean, who the hell uses bows? Seriously! The man, who is named Gronk for some strange and most likely horrible reason, throws his arms up in the air.

"I know, right? Bows...feh." He quickly scoops up the shattered bits of sword and slings a travel bag over his shoulder. "Good choice. I should be back by sunset. There's some bread in the cupboard, and the well is just out back." He heads towards the door, but stops suddenly. "Oh, and don't eat any of the mushrooms." He gives you an intense glare of warning before disappearing out the door, leaving you sitting on your bed and staring in confusion.

Don't eat the mushrooms. Easy enough, right? You eye the chicken still sitting on your lap. It has begun to pick at the thin woolen blankets.

He didn't say anything about not eating chickens, right?

You quickly grab the chicken and deftly snap its neck, killing it instantly. Taking a moment to gaze into its beady, dead eyes, something wells up within you. Could it be sadness? Regret at taking the life of a living animal? You pause for a moment, considering the inherent fragility of life, before belching loudly.

Oh. Guess it was just gas.

Completely forgetting about your previous life-altering reflections, you quickly rip the feathers off the bird, clean it, and roast it over the fire still roaring in the fireplace. It's absolutely delicious. Feeling refreshed, you get up and stretch out your tired and sore muscles before heading out back to get some water from the well. As you lower the bucket into the heavy darkness, you stare blankly into the nearby forest. You begin to wonder if there actually IS any water in the well when you hear somebody call for help. It seems to be coming from within the forest. You reach for the small hunting knife you keep in your belt and study the woods intensely. Whoever is calling out can't be too far in...

Should you go help them?

[Mr. Benton]

Yes! Go help them!

[kawasake]

Gronk! XDDD Perfect!

We has knife?! Why didn't you say so before?

Orite. Go help 'em. :-D

[Khaoseru]

You eye the chicken still sitting on your lap. It has begun to pick at the thin woolen blankets.

He didn't say anything about not eating chickens, right?

You quickly grab the chicken and deftly snap its neck, killing it instantly. Taking a moment to gaze into its beady, dead eyes, something wells up within you. Could it be sadness? Regret at taking the life of a living animal? You pause for a moment, considering the inherent fragility of life, before belching loudly.

Oh. Guess it was just gas.

Completely forgetting about your previous life-altering reflections, you quickly rip the feathers off the bird, clean it, and roast it over the fire still roaring in the fireplace. It's absolutely delicious.

This doesn't count as an automatic win?...DAMMIT.

Yeah let's go help. THERE'S NOTHING TO DO...unless there's more chikens.